Oh god, where are my legs?

Hi everyone,
why didn't anyone warned me? I can barely move my legs, my left eye hurts, I have several blisters on my feets and I can feel every muscle of my body + I think I can feel the pulse of my socks.
No, I didnt get beaten up. It's even worse, I did sport.
It all started with the harmless idea "lets play some soccer with some friends inside a hall".
After all, I got really lazy in the last few months and maybe gained one or two extra punds on my hip.
But the problems started as soon as I wanted to go to the hall where me and my friends wanted to meet.
I realised that I have no sneakers so I took an old pair of shoes. I also had no sport shirt so I took and old shirt where you could see what I had for dinner for the last week (didnt realized that until it was to late).
After some warming up and deciding the teams we started playing.
Nothing professional, it was all just fun and games but in the pure rush of adrenaline a friend shot a little harder and hit me right in the left eye. POW, Bullseye so to speak.
Well, 5min pause for me. After I could see again and the feeling of having an eye that has the size of a watermelon faded, I played again.....
Bad dessicion! A few minutes later I had to painfully realize that normal shoes are no sneakers. Somehow the pad inside my shoe moved into a wierd position so that my socks scrubed painfully at the underside of my feet by every step I made. Fighting spirit kept me going till it got unbearable and i had to stop again. I lost some skin layers there, it was all red and felt like it was on fire.
But there still was a good half an hour to play and simply waiting wasn't an option + I didn't stopped playing LoL at home to sit in a hall and watch some amateurs kick themselfs with a ball into unconsciousness.
So I took off my shoes and played with socks. I slided more than I walked but I looked cool.... at least, I hope it looked cool.
The last minutes went over without any serious injuries. Well, a few more balls met other faces but nothing special.

Its not the first time I did more sport than I should so I knew the hard part comes next morning and yes, it was just as i predicted. I think it never took this long to stand up in the morning. My legs feel like pudding, my arms are jelly and every move feels like I'm getting hit by a bus. Luckily it doesn't hurt to write so maybe it is possible for me to just play the whole day (after work of course).

Yay, sport!

Bye